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6 Principles We Must Teach Our Daughters

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Raising daughters is not an easy task. There are constant worries and struggles that we as “girl mom” parents.

As we all know Roe vs. Wade has been recently overturned by the Supreme Court leaving the decision of abortion rights to state goverments. This means a huge change in the way we have to raise our daughters.

There have been a lot of questions about where we are going as a nation since this decision has been made.

I can’t deny there is some major work that needs to be done with the way the world views women.

Most importantly we have to change the way that women view ourselves.

These perceptions start at a very young age. It’s just not television and magazines influencing our little girls anymore. Now we have to worry about the constant messaging that comes from social media. 

We have to start teaching our daughters early how to find self-worth, how to protect themselves, and how to create their own paths in life. 

I have compiled a list of things that I believe are not being taught anymore, not being taught enough or simply not being taught at all.  I believe these key principles shape a woman’s future, and the decisions she will make as an adult. 

Principle #1: Teach our daughters to Love Themselves the Way They Are.

There has been a lot of focus on a woman’s body and what society deems is beautiful or valuable. This has been a common theme throughout history but something has shifted. 

Women used to combat what society said was acceptable. We used to protest marching in the streets showing our contempt by burning our bras.  Now, women have started to become complacent with what the media deems as beautiful all in the name of popularity.

Some influencers like Rihanna and Khloe Kardashian have attempted to combat this issue.

Rihanna created Fenty beauty. A makeup line that includes a diversified line of makeup foundations that cater to the many different skin tones from light to dark.

Her lingerie line, Savage Fenty includes full-figured models to show that women do not have to be “one size” to be sexy. 

Khloe Kardashian has followed a similar formula with her Good American clothing line which also includes full figured models.

She even stated on a recent episode of Hulu’s Kardashians that she refuses to sell her brand in stores that want to separate the full figured line from the rest of the line. 

Although women like Rihanna and Khloe are working to change the perception of beauty, there are still several women who are chasing after the “perfect body”. 

Cosmetic Surgeries

According to a New York Times article discussing the surge in a popular cosmetic surgery the  Brazillan Butlift also known as the BBL.

It states that despite known risks, There were 40,320 buttock augmentations that included both implants and fat grafting in the year of 2020. 

Here’s the unforgiving truth. Our daughters have the desire to want to feel wanted and seen.

Unfortunately, the women that are seen the most have those hourglass figures. And most of them accomplished this through cosmetic surgeries.  

What message does this give our girls? It says that unless your body looks a certain way, no one will notice you. No one will like you, and that you are not important. 

How can we combat this? 

Principle # 2: Teach your daughter to Uplift other girls

The 2004 the movie Mean Girls became an instant blockbuster hit. It gave a somewhat exaggerated vantage point into the mindsets and lives of teenage girls.

Although the movie was fiction, it showed how girls can become obsessed with being popular. Viewers saw how the girl that doesn’t agree with the viewpoints of the popular girl, can become a target. 

The movie also showed us something else. It showed us how one person’s influence can have an effect on how others are viewed by the majority. 

For some reason, society has established this unwritten rule that power and influence cannot be shared amongst women. We see this narrative play out over and over in movies and on tv.

We all know this narrative is false. However, we have to consciously teach our daughters that there is room for one more.

Here are some ways to teach this

Principle # 3: Teach your daughter not to put themselves in compromising positions.

The world we live in is a scary one. Long gone are the days where our kids can wander the neighborhood. We cant just tell them, “be home before the streetlights come on.”

According to the Rape Abuse, & Incest National Network, (RAINN), younger people are at a higher risk of sexual violence, and women, in particular, are at higher risk for sexual assault compared to men.

Some sexual assault is unpredicted, but other times women are finding themselves in very compromising positions.

Being put in uncomfortable situations can cause girls to feel pressured to participate in activities they are not ok with.

How we can prevent this

Principle #4: Teach your Daughters not to Settle

There is nothing wrong with having high expectations. Not setting does not have to be solely directed at relationships. Settling can be related to multiple aspects of our lives. 

Women often get used to settling for things that are less than what they deserve. Often women are in unhappy marriages, careers, and situations in general because they have settled out of fear that they cannot find anything better. 

Teaching our daughters not to settle helps them get comfortable using their voice and trusting their judgment. 

Here’s some small ways we can do that

However,  we should teach our girls to have non-negotiables standards that relate to our moral compass and overal life goals that we should not have to compromise on.

Principle #5 Teach your daughters that It’s Ok To Be Single

We have to teach our girls that not being in a relationship is ok. Women have come to believe that unless they are in a relationship they are not valuable. 

This is very dangerous thinking. In fact, it can cause young women to look for self-worth in a relationship. 

If a man feels like you need them in order to feel valuable, some men may use this as a way to be physically, and mentally abusive.

What we can do

Principle #6 Teach your daugher The emotional effects of sex

When I was a teenager all my mother really told me about sex was that it was between a husband and wife, and that I should save myself until marriage because that is what the bible says is right.

I heard where my mother was coming from, but quite frankly I was a teenager who was very hormonal and curious about sex. Needless to say I didn’t wait before marriage.

What I wished my mom did tell me was the emotional effects of having sex. I wish she would have explained to me her past experiences and been honest and open about why I should wait from an emotional standpoint. 

How we should approach the sex talk with our daughters:

Final Thoughts

Raising girls is not easy, which is why I thank God every day that he blessed me with two boys. However, I have 3 beautiful nieces and so many female students that I feel the obliged to share with you what I feel our girls need. Teaching them these principles early will help ensure that they find themselves worthy, loved, and valuable. It teaches them to confirm themselves inwardly and not seek to seek these things externally.

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